Emancipated
by mryddinwilt
Summary: At 16 years old Emma Swan decides to run away from foster care. My one shot on why and some insight into why Emma was never adopted. Rated M for a bit of language.


Late afternoon sunlight slanted through the window bringing a warm glow to the austere office. It's pale oranges setting fire to the white desk and shinning on a pile of folders. Each folder was carefully labeled with the name of a child in the Massachusetts foster care system. Some were thin, only a few papers containing vital statistics. Some were thick, containing multiple foster families or disciplinary issues. The file currently open on the desk was labeled "Emma Swan" and was the biggest of them all.

Amanda Johnson had begun reading the file just after lunch and was only a third of the way through. Next to the folder was a large yellow legal pad with notes scribbled on it.

Amanda was a longtime veteran of the foster system. She had begun her career as a foster mother, eventually becoming a case worker and finally moving to the transitions office. Her job was to help prepare foster kids to exit the system and begin their lives as emancipated adults. Over the years she had developed a system. Near their 16th birthday she would schedule an appointment. Prior to the appointment Amanda would read their files taking note of strengths or weaknesses. She examined their grades, their foster care history, and their interests. Then she would conduct an initial interview. She would ask the teens about their goals and life plans. If they didn't have any she would help them make some. Above all she used the initial appointment to stress that in two years the teenager would need to find a way to support themselves outside the system. Many of the teenagers responded positively, some negatively, a few started out apathetic but eventually came around.

Amanda Johnson was dedicated and good at her job. But as she poured over the file she was at a loss on how to help Emma Swan. Emma's file spanned her entire 16 and a half years of life. Beginning with her initial intake as an infant in Maine. These were the notes Amanda had made so far:

Emma Swan

-Found on roadside; parents never identified

-Group home as a baby

-Almost adoptions, at ages 3, 5, 7 and 8

-Reasons given for not adopting

-can't handle her emotions

-house burned down in electrical fire

-"hard to contain"

-emotionally withdrawn

-Moved to Massachusetts at 6; foster home in Maine shut down due to electrical issues

-majority of time spent in group homes as she got older

Amanda was saddened by the story the file outlined. Emma's disciplinary issues were numerous. She had been caught stealing on multiple occasions but none recently. Which Amanda suspected only meant she was no longer getting caught. Her anger issues manifested in arguments with peers and authority figures. She had no after school activities and since the age of ten had been diagnosed with asocial tendencies. Her grades were barely average and many teachers referenced her "bad attitude". Of course she knew that most long term foster children developed coping mechanisms but she recognized that Emma Swan was an extreme case.

"Emma Swan?"

Emma looks up at the large black woman standing in the doorway of the group home rec room. She resents her immediately. The woman's eyes are full of pity and Emma doesn't want any pity. She knows why the woman is here. She had been told last week that she was going to have her initial "transition" interview. Which Emma knew was code for "get ready to be kicked to the curb" conversation. Emma didn't see the point of the "interview" she knew that her time in foster care was coming to a close. It was something that both excited and terrified her. To be free of the system but to also be truly alone.

"Ms. Swan?" the woman asks again.

"Ya." Emma says with a lift of her chin.

"Come with me please."

Emma had to give the woman credit she didn't seem the least bit frustrated by her rudeness. Riling this woman, changing her pity into frustration or anger, would be a challenge. Emma loved a challenge.

They entered the rec room and the woman motions to the couch. Emma moves grudgingly, drawing out her steps. She sits on the edge of the couch, refusing to be comfortable, and looks for her the familiar bulk of her file. She spies a yellow legal pad filled with tight, precise, handwriting but nothing else. Emma makes out her name at the top of the page before the woman picks it up and sits down.

"Now Ms. Swan. As you know I am here to help you transition out of the foster care system."

Emma snorts and rolls her eyes. The woman smiles patiently.

"I have reviewed your file and I have some things I want to discuss with you but first I wanted to get to know you better. Tell me Ms. Swan what do you want to do after high school?"

"What?" The question catches Emma off guard. She was expecting the session to start as most of her foster system reviews started with a lecture on how she needed to clean up her act. She had planned to stare defiantly through the lecture and make sarcastic comments.

"I want to know what your goals are Emma."

"Goals? I don't have goals. I mean besides getting out of here as fast as possible." Emma offers her a sickly sweet smile and pushes at her glasses. The woman was unfazed.

"Everyone has goals, dreams, plans. You can't tell me that you haven't thought about life outside of the group home." Emma shrugs. She tries not to dwell on thoughts of a home and family (which is the only dream she can ever remember having) because it is impossible.

"Do you see yourself in college? Moving to another city or state? Working in a particular industry?" Emma doesn't answer and the woman lets the silence stretch into awkwardness. When it is clear to Emma that the woman isn't going to be satisfied until she answers she decides to make something up.

"I guess I could go to college. Maybe study PR. Everyone says I am great with people."

The woman bursts out laughing. It isn't the reaction Emma expected.

"Now I am going to give you a worksheet. I want you to fill it out before we meet next week. It will help you think about what you like to do and what you are good at. Next time we meet we will talk about it and set some goals." She makes a quick note on her paper before fishing out a three page worksheet from her bag. She offers it to Emma.

Emma takes it with a sigh.

"Now Ms. Swan. I want you to take this seriously. Once you become emancipated the system won't be able to help you."

Emma's back stiffens. "I can take care of myself."

"You know I hear that from every kid I talk to. But guess what? The majority of foster kids end up homeless, jobless, and are four times more likely to end up in prison. I don't want that to happen. Do you?"

Emma can't help the anger that bubbles up, warming her body. "Oh please. Don't pretend that you care about me, or any of us."

"I do care Ms. Swan. I want-"

"Spare me the bleeding heart lecture. You are all the same, you care until the checks stop or I piss you off…or…you find a kid you like better." Emma feels the anger swelling, threatening to swallow her up. She hasn't felt this way for so long. Her time in the system has taught her to keep her emotions hidden and under control. She tries to push the anger back down, taking a few deep breaths. She looks up at the woman hoping that the satisfaction of seeing her rattled or angry will help calm her. Instead Emma see her brown eyes overflowing with pity.

"Oh. Emma, thats just not true!"

Emma snaps, her control breaks, her emotions crash out in a wave and she feels heat bloom in her chest. The whole room suddenly feels darker.

"You know what FUCK YOU! I am going to be fine on my own. I don't need the fucking system. I don't need parents or a family. I am not some broken toy for you to fix and throw away when you are done playing. I don't need saving. The only person who saves me…is me."

Emma knows she is out of line but she doesn't care. She turns on her heel and storms out of the room slamming the door on the way out. A lightbulb in the hallway flares and goes out; shrouding her in darkness as she stomps up the stairs. When she gets to her bedroom the anger has drained away leaving only a raw pain. She falls into her bed and allows herself to cry. That night as she lies awake feeling unwanted and unloved. She promises herself that she will show that woman that Emma Swan doesn't need anybody. She vows to never see her or her pity filled eyes ever again.

Amanda Johnson had a similar desire to never see Emma Swan again. Her desire didn't come from stubbornness or anger but from fear. Amanda had grown up in a rough neighborhood. She had been mugged twice and witnessed a gas station robbery. Just two months ago she had disarmed an angry foster kid that had pulled a knife on her. But sitting there with that petite, blonde, teenager screaming at her had been the scariest moments of her life. The atmosphere of the room had felt charged, the hair on her arms and neck stood at attention. She felt a tingling heat on her skin and her heart had raced. Then the lights had flickered and Amanda was sure she had entered an episode of the X-files. But as soon as Emma left the room everything had returned to normal and Amanda immediately began wondering if she had imagined the entire episode. She worried what would happen at their next meeting.

She worried for nothing because when Amanda Johnson returned to the foster home the next week she was informed that Emma Swan was gone. The girl had disappeared taking her few possessions with her. The foster home had reported her disappearance but they weren't optimistic. Amanda was ashamed at the flood of relief she felt at the news. She had handled many tough cases in her career but Emma was something completely different and new. Something whispered to Amanda that Emma Swan was right; the only person who could save her, was herself.

**A/N: So this has been swimming around for awhile. Born from reading comments on Tumblr by the-lady-swan and many others about why exactly Emma was never adopted. I tried to show and not tell hopefully it worked and you read between the lines. Let me know your thoughts.**


End file.
